I tried to find a time to share with my niece some of the details leading up to her bridal tea party that we had for her last month, but with all the craziness of wedding planning, we simply never had a chance to talk. Because of that, I decided to share it in a way I am more comfortable … the written form. This was meant to be shared before her wedding day yesterday, but I helped her with some last-minute wedding details instead. I share it now, with the vision of a little girl in my heart who grew up to be a most lovely bride.
The Start of a Journey
July 10, 1987 … this day brought a new era into my family. The first grandchild in our family was born.
I was 14 years old and had been invited to go to an amusement park with a friend and his family. I went, but my heart was back at home, anxiously awaiting the arrival of my sister’s baby. This was before the time of a cell phone in every hand, so I could only check in once in awhile using a pay phone. But finally, my friend’s mom called my parents and received the news that I had been waiting for … the baby had been born … a sweet little girl.
My niece.
I have never been much of a shopper but I immediately began searching through every gift shop in that amusement park, relentlessly looking for the perfect stuffed animal to give as a welcome to this sweet baby. There were not many options and I ended up finding only a bright pink stuffed teddy bear (which she still has).
The next day, I carried that bear into the hospital only to quickly tossed it aside and pick up that precious bundle into my arms. I will always remember the first time I saw her … her hair was as dark as could be, her fingers delicate and long. I fell immediately in love and silently promised her that I would do my best to always be here for her.
The journey since that day has been long and incredibly challenging in many ways. I have watched her walk through heart aches and grief that no one should ever have to face. I’ve tried to keep that promise to always be here for her but I know I could have done better. Those were hard years for everyone.
However, I have also watched her grow up and mature into a beautiful, incredibly strong, hard-working, lovely woman whom I respect, even if we stand on opposite sides of issues and faith at times. She is passionate and fiery, yet full of compassion and gentleness. I truly appreciate the woman she has become and believe she is an example to many.
Last October, she became engaged to a wonderful man who values and respects her. We all were thrilled when he proposed to her on a hiking trip and now, the next part of their journey was about to begin – together.
The Planning Adventure Begins
Once they became engaged, I waited to see if anyone would step up to organize a bridal shower and while I waited, I began to ponder various options if the responsibility came to me.
In our rural community, many bridal showers are held in church basements with plenty of crepe paper, balloons, and silly games. These can be perfectly lovely events, but definitely not what I considered to be the best option for our bride. The more I pondered it, the more the idea of a tea party rose in my thoughts.
Tea parties were a significant part of my niece’s childhood. She and her brothers lived with my parents and my Mom would often get out her lovely dishes and have tea parties with them as children. These are cherished memories for my niece and tea parties continue to represent a special connection between she and her Grandma, a woman who remains a most important figure in her life. I contemplated an outdoor venue, such as in a formal garden or a nearby state park, because she loves the outdoors. I also also considered hosting the event in my home, which I would have loved, but understood it wouldn’t work well given the needs of my now-adult autistic son.
Finally, I stumbled on the idea of hosting a bridal shower at a tea room, providing one could be found. I knew it would potentially be expensive but the guest list would be relatively small and I thought it would be worth the cost to have someone else provide the food and venue. In any case, my niece is a special young woman and this event needed to be just as special. I considered it a worthy investment.
So in late October of last year, as I sat in a hospital waiting room with my mother, I was prepared when she asked me what we should do about a bridal shower. I spent that time, carefully distracting her from the reason why we were sitting in that waiting room, and explained my thought process before sharing the idea of a bridal tea party and the vision that I saw for it.
Mom loved the idea and while initially cautious about financial concerns, we both decided that our bride was worth the cost and we would find a way. Once my Dad was was informed of our plan, he was completely on board as well. We all wanted this event to be absolutely perfect for this girl (woman) we love and truthfully, the Lord provided.
On a side note, her fiance’ felt the same way. I managed a quick conversation with him at Christmas and told him of our idea and his response was immediate and positive. He wanted me to try and surprise my niece and offered any help I needed. His help was invaluable.
Now I have to admit, I was surprised to learn that I still love to plan events. This is a part of who I used to be and, surprisingly enough, it is still inside of me. I am just a much wiser and more efficient planner now, carefully thinking things out and praying for direction. I don’t take on more than I handle and my focus tends to be on the details. That being said, I had such fun stepping into this role again.
The Venue
My mother and I decided that I should begin searching for venue options and then we would visit them before deciding which one would be the right setting for our bride. So I spent some time researching and asking people for guidance. My sister-in-law told me about two that seemed to be good possibilities but I found myself being oddly drawn to the one in particular.
This venue is called the Sweet Remembrances Tea Room and it boasts a memory garden in the back. The pictures I found online gave the impression of a quaint and old-fashioned setting, which I knew would appeal to both my bride and her grandmother. I suggested to my mom that we visit this tea room first because I believed this would be the one. So my mom, my daughter, and I visited during a public tea on February 6th and we immediately knew that this was the place to host our party.
The search was over.
Honoring Memories
As I considered the tea room that we had chosen and its attention to memories of the past, an idea began to form about creating a special memory book for my niece. It just seemed as though the entire theme of this event should be sweet memories. I talked it over with my Mom and she loved this idea so I included a special request when I sent out the invitations (the invites, by the way, were a download I ordered through Etsy and printed myself – they included a eucalyptus design, which my niece loves). I asked for any photographs they wished to be included, as well as, letters to my niece (and/or her groom). I envisioned a book that would be filled with love and sweet memories that she would have and cherish in the years to come.
It was surprisingly difficult finding an album that I felt would fit the style of our bride and I searched through every online source I could find … fearful I would end up spending more money than I had just to get the right album. But, if you remember the story I shared about the Lord providing my daughter, who is a junior bridesmaid in this wedding, with the perfect dress, He also on that same day provided the perfect album … for only $8 at a Michael’s store right across from the dress store. You can read about the dress here if you missed it … ~ A Girl, A Dress, and Jesus ~
The memory book was the only stressful part of the planning process, simply because everyone waited until the very last minute to give me what they wanted included. At moments, the day before the tea party as I worked feverishly to pull it all together, I started to regret this part of the plan, but I kept envisioning what this book might mean to my niece. While I didn’t have enough time to make it fit what I had envisioned, it still turned out lovely and meaningful. There were letters from family members and pictures of the past. We included special memories to honor those who have passed and their connection to both our bride and groom.
My niece and her groom have a special love for Winnie-the-Pooh and are including certain quotes in their wedding ceremony. In the days before the tea party, my mom asked if there was a way we could also include them in the bridal shower. So I found some prints on Etsy, bought, downloaded, and printed them, and then displayed them, nicely matted and framed, along with the memory book and other pictures on a table at the tea party. They were the perfect touch of detail that my niece noticed and loved.
It is all in the Details
Now, one thing I know about our bride is that she hates to be the center of attention and that she would want her guests to walk away with something special. Since I didn’t have to worry about preparing food or decorations, I focused that energy into favors for our guests to take home. I did still have to consider the budget and didn’t want to do anything too expensive but I wanted something sweet that would highlight and honor what my niece loves and values. Finally, we settled on succulents because these are plants that she loves. I had found an online source and was ready to place an order, but then the Lord led me to our local Farmer’s Market, which fit perfectly into my wishes for this event. My niece is a strong supporter of small/local business and I wanted to honor her by keeping as many of my purchases local as possible. With that in mind, I spoke with my friend who owns the market and asked if it would be possible to buy succulents through her and she told me that we absolutely could do that. She could order them through her source, which is a local Pennsylvania small greenhouse, and they would be delivered just a couple of weeks before the tea party. Perfect!
Next came the dilemma of what to plant them in. I had two concerns when it came to containers for the succulents … First, I knew how easy it would be to sink a lot of money into containers and secondly, I felt my niece would prefer I didn’t buy cheap, new containers from a nearby dollar store. After much thought, I considered the possibility of re-purposing glassware and began to visit my local Good Will store, searching for inspiration … and it certainly didn’t take long to find it! The women in my family love old glassware … something that goes back a couple of generations. My grandmother, my mom’s mom, collected a certain kind of dessert dishes that became a treasure to my mom. My mom spent years searching and collecting these dishes so that each of her children would also have a set. So, when I saw a couple of these very same dishes sitting on the shelves at the local Good Will store for an incredibly cheap price, I knew I had found my container.
It fit all my requirements: Old glassware, re-purposed, and honoring a family tradition. Incidentally, my niece and this grandmother share a birth date … so it just seemed honoring to our sweet memories theme to use these cut-glass dishes.
I did want to ‘jazz’ them up a little, however, and give them a little color, so I visited our local, family-owned hardware store and found spray cans of translucent paint – ideal for painting glass. Krylon Sea Glass Sea foam transformed the clear cut-glass into a lovely, frosted shade of light green, which highlighted one of the bride’s wedding colors.
The search to find enough dishes in this pattern began, and with the help of my sister-in-law and mother, we quickly found all we needed.
At one point, my mother reminded me about my niece’s love for elephants and I began to ponder how I could include them somehow. As part of my gift to her, my mom and I found three small ceramic elephant planters (one new and the other two were vintage, pre-owned ones) for me to plant succulents in.
Then, as a small special touch, I found little elephant charms that I attached to each favor that our guests to home. These favors were a big hit with everyone and added a lovely touch to each place setting.
The Secret
Oh man, the hardest part of planning any surprise event is keeping it a secret … not for me personally, but definitely for others. Originally, I didn’t think it would be possible to plan the party without my niece knowing but her fiance’ wanted to try. Since he had access to her calendar, as well as, the wedding guest list, he passed information to me on the sly and that made it all possible.
The tea room was pretty booked around the dates we needed and the only time that worked for the venue and everyone in our family was May 25 … the day before my daughter’s fourteenth birthday. While having two events in one weekend was a rather stressful undertaking for me, it actually provided the perfect ruse for getting my niece to her bridal tea party.
I told my niece that I was planning a very special tea party in honor of my daughter’s birthday and I needed her help to get her there. I apparently told her such a convincing story, that my Mom started to believe me and my young great-niece pulled me aside to whisper, “Wait! Now I have to keep TWO secrets!?”
My plan worked for the most part. It allowed me to urge her to bring something nice to wear to a tea party and although she somewhat suspected because of things that were said by others, she was still surprised and completely overwhelmed when she walked into the tea room with my daughter and saw all the people who was there … for her.
Absolutely one of the sweetest moments ever.
The Party Itself
The bridal tea party turned out to be a lovely success. Both guests and our bride were delighted with the tea room and all who know her well, exclaimed that it was the perfect setting. Our hostess was gracious and among the blessings I count of this day, she allowed us extra time in the tea room without charging us for it. The menu was plentiful and delicious, the tea hot and perfect, and the time sweet with just the right atmosphere to share with our bride all the love we feel for her.
After guests had mostly left, our bride simply walked around the tea room with a look of wonder on her face, trying to soak in all the little details. She never stopped smiling.
It was a day set aside to honor her as a daughter, as a granddaughter, as a sister, as a niece, as an aunt, as a cousin, as a friend … and especially as a truly special and delightful bride.
She walked away, still somewhat overwhelmed, but feeling loved and cherished …
and for that reason alone, the bridal tea party was a sweet success.
“If you live to be a hundred,
I want to live to be a hundred minus one day
so I never have to live without you.”
~Winnie-the-Pooh~
The Brown Bird's Song 